16th February, 2017
We've all been there, we've all done it. But after learning the hard way I can admit faking staff can be a bitch. I remember back in secondary school, I wanted to make my best friend feel sorry for me and I've applied navy blue eye shadow around my left eye to make it look like I've got beaten up.. Yes! I've faked my black eye.. Too bad it came off that same day at my PE lesson. Here are the 5 things you should never fake..
1. Plans. Don’t tell the guy you’re dating that you’re off out watching your little sister's school play in an attempt to make him jealous. He will see your snapchat story of you at home eating Chinese take away in your Peppa pig Pajamas and then what?
2. CVs. I’ve definitely never put that I have a Law certificate on my CV to then spend 30 minutes being grilled on the different acts I’ve learned in an interview. Be your authentic self and end up unemployed. It’s better.
3. Tan. Believe me when I say I’m naturally so pale that you couldn't notice me in winter when the snow falls. But what's wrong with that, it's who I am. We all know there’s nothing worse than smelling like stale biscuits and seeing the darker patches cling to the bits we couldn’t quite be bothered to exfoliate, not to mention the kneecap and elbow area that is 20 tones darker than the rest of the body..
4. Jewellery. You should never fake your jewellery. We’ve all been there with the slimy green ring of mystery around our finger after wearing a Tiffany knock off at £10. It’s time to choose more wisely with our accessories, invest more in an item that will look good and will last you lifetime, quality over quantity!
5. Orgasms. The minute you fake a screamer you’ve lost. Your partner now thinks they are Lion King and will stop trying and you will be expected to cum in the same way every time.
What is your funny or embarrassing 'faking' moment?